How To Be In The Moment
I find myself sitting at Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali listening to the sound of nature mixed with that city vibe as I type this. I am wearing my yoga clothes, mala beads and listening to music as I drink a turmeric and carrot shot and snack on a raw brownie. Life seems pretty good.
Yet, it was only a few weeks ago that life did not seem so good. I didn’t know what I was doing, where I was going and things were a bit out of hand. I was stressed out, bottling my emotions, and no one really knew what was going on because I feel I need to be very private because my life is quite public. I was upset because my friends weren’t supporting me in a time of need, yet I wasn’t actually telling them that I needed their support. What contrast and complete change to be sitting in one of my favorite places on Earth feeling completely blissed out, when I really had no idea what I was doing last month. Funny how life works, hey?
Being here, writing this and thinking about life, my career, relationships, and everything in between has been eye opening over the past few days since getting to Bali. I am realizing that we cannot control anything; truly, we cannot. We can only learn how to be in the moment, this exact present time and how to stay calm when our future plans do not go as planned. We can kick and scream about things going wrong, about missing our flight or the train being late, about a boss being rude, or our friends not being supportive. Yet at the end of the day all we can do is truly be kind to ourselves and not let things get us down or angry.
Coming here, I missed my flight. Well, not so much missed it as I wasn’t allowed to travel because my passport didn’t have 6 months on it. As quickly as I got to the airport, I turned around and went home at 11pm at night. There was literally nothing I could do. I had to change my flight that night and pay a fee, schedule an appointment to hopefully get a one-day passport and just get on with my life. Everyone around me said how much they would have flipped out and been pissed if it happened to them and how calm I seemed about the whole thing. I don’t really feel like I did anything abnormal, I just didn’t freak out. What was the point? Getting pissed off would not have changed a single thing about the situation. I wouldn’t have gotten on my flight, nor would I get my new passport any earlier. In the end, some faith in the universe that I would get the passport, some positive thinking and not being rude about anything led to some really beautiful days in LA before I left, and in the end I managed to get on the flight a few days later.
So I write this partially to ramble off my thoughts right now, but also to try to tell you all that it’s OKAY to not know the future. It’s OKAY to not be confident, comfortable, or understand why things are happening. And it’s OKAY to be scared shitless. Think about the last time you felt incredible low; I mean really, really bad like things were not going to get better. Now, think to this present moment. I can guarantee that you might have felt so depressed that you didn’t want to go on; that life seemed so terrible and it wasn’t worth it. But look at where you are now. I’m sure that things got better. They might not be “perfect” (remember though, there is no such thing as perfect), however I’m sure that life is better than in that moment.
The thing life is that we cannot control it, we can only live it. And you will get a lot more out of living it when you can learn to let go and just be. Be in the moment. Be by yourself. Be in those hard times. Be in those good times. Be with friends. Be scared. Be Sad. Be happy. Just BE. Be in the present and stop wasting time with what happened yesterday or last year. No matter how much of a f*cked up childhood you had, you cannot change it. No matter how much a divorce sucked, you cannot change it. No matter how much you are pissed about losing a job, you cannot change it. Let me repeat that: you cannot change what happened.
You also cannot plan for what will happen after this moment, right now. You can prepare, but your plans will never go as, well, planned. Your boyfriend might not call you when you want, you might get laid off, a loved one might pass, you might binge and feel like crap afterwards, you might not workout for weeks on end. And you know what it’s OKAY. It doesn’t matter what will happen tomorrow or what happened yesterday, as long as you are here, in today.
At the end of the day, you cannot change what happened before RIGHT NOW. You also cannot control what will happen after RIGHT NOW. You can only be here. That is why being present is so key. Let go. Don’t get so attached to emotion. Just be grateful for everything, literally everything. Some of those worst moments will actually turn into beautiful moments if you let yourself learn from what happened.
I hope this post on how to be in the moment makes sense to you all. I’m sitting here thinking about what I’ve learned when it comes to being happy and how to stay calm and grateful even when things go bad and this is what’s flowing out.
Much love my friends! Xx, N