There’s something I haven’t told you…

24 Nov 2017

I am about to share something that I haven’t told you before. I’m actually scared shitless to tell you. I don’t know why, because at the end of the day we all go through things in our life that are hard. I guess the reason I’m scared to share this with you is because I feel you’re going to think that I’m a fraud. A fraud wellness expert. Because how could a wellness expert be going through something like this?

But as I sit here at my computer doing last minute things before heading out to Africa tomorrow I have realized that I am really sad. I’m sad because I’m not fully in the moment of being excited to go. And the reason is because my body is not healthy. And it hasn’t been for a while. Two years actually.

So what’s wrong?

I have candida. Okay wow. I said it. Some of you are going to know what that is. And others are going to immediately go google. If you have been through this, then you know what a complete life altering thing it is to have.

What prompted this post was that my friend who is staying with me just came and asked if I am ready and all packed for my flight tomorrow. I said yes I’m packed, but not excited yet. Because how can you be excited when your body is literally screaming at you from the inside that it is suffering? It is inflamed. I am bloated, gaining weight, have yeast over growth and and constantly low on energy. My whole body is affected. He asked if I am in pain. I said no, but that I almost wish I was because with pain, you can take something for it. Candida- you cannot.

I’m stuck in this hell of having tried just about everything. I’ve been on more antibiotics than seems humanly possible over the past two years. The doctors take swabs, I get tests done and they always come back that I need another dose. I’ve paid a lot of money for a top notch nutritionist/ functional medicine doctor who also did more tests and put me on natural medication. Well, two rounds of that and nothing. I’ve cut out fruit, I’ve cut out dairy, I’ve stopped having desserts and reduced my alcohol intake. I’ve increased my sleep, meditation, and green vegetables. I’ve been on more natural medicine, oil of oregano, essential oil mixtures, and just about everything else.

The thing about candida is that is not an easy thing to fix. Some doctors out there say you need to cut out ALL sugar, including fruits and limit your diet to a paleo based one, while others say vegan is the way to go and natural fruits are good. Well, I don’t eat meat that often and grains are a no-go on a candida diet. So I haven’t gotten too strict on this end because without results that I know will work, why go that crazy.

I never believed in candida. I honestly thought it was a rich person’s made up disease. I laughed when I read about what it was thinking that it was something that affected people who were too stressed and needed to chill out. Well, dearest Nikki, you got it because you were too damn stressed. The short of it is that I went through a pretty bad breakup, which is a story for another day, and what came from that was more stress than I thought possible. I was stressed a lot in the relationship, and even more so afterwards, once my body came out of shock. I suddenly felt alone and my pH balance went off. I thought it was just a yeast infection and so came the first round of antibiotics… then the second… and third… and here we are today.

I’m sad. I’m really sad. It’s affected my dating life. It’s affected the clothes I wear. It’s affected my self confidence. But what you see on social media is a girl who is clearly confident. Nothing wrong. And it’s affecting my excitement and happiness about going to Africa to go volunteer for the next 17 days.

This isn’t meant to be a sob story though. It’s not meant to be anything other than I am sharing something that TERRIFIES ME. But I am thinking about it in a different way too. Maybe, just maybe, me sharing this will make you realize you’re not alone in crazy weird body issues. Maybe you have had it, or have it now. Or that you are going through something else that you have been too scared to share. I will say though, sharing this and pressing the POST button is terrifying me. I don’t want to do it. But I will. Because this is a secret that I am tired of keeping.

So with that, I am asking for help. If you have had something work for this I would LOVE to know. Because I’m tired of fighting this alone. Please leave a comment below if you have any suggestions, or if this extreme sharing session helped you in some way!

Tons of love,


30 Responses

  1. Aleyna says:

    Hey Nikki, my good friend Jennifer Schaefer and I met you a year or 2 ago at a Lorna Jane event in the Palisades…she’s an intuitive energy healer and I really think she could help you. You can check out her website She’s absolutely amazing at what she does. Wishing you safe travels to Africa

  2. RedSportsCar says:

    Oh Nikki, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I don’t think anyone with a heart will feel betrayed in any way… things happen in our lives that are out of our control, and all you can do is keep going. I’ve had to travel while not feeling well, and it’s a real challenge, especially that ‘trapped’ feeling of being on an aircraft sometimes, or having to adhere to a schedule when you just don’t want to move.
    I wish I had some insight to share, but all I can share is sympathy, and sorrow for your very understandable sadness. I hope your trip to Africa goes well and doesn’t stress your body too much. You are brave to make the post, and I hope someone can speak directly to the health issue at hand and offer you some advice.

    • Ryder says:

      Hi! So sorry you’re going through this. I recently read another woman’s post about this condition on Instagram. Her username is britwkent. Maybe if you contact her she could be helpful!

  3. Courtney Shier says:

    I have two awesome kiniesiologists in LA that are great with all of this and could really help! If you want their info when you’re back text me! Also don’t do any sort of vinegar even Apple cider, they both said that. Just for a bit and no Kombucha or wine. Stick to vodka or tequila when you drink. 😜😘

  4. Heidi says:

    Babe! I feel you 100%. Being looked at as an expert in an area is a lot of pressure. But thats what also makes you am expert. Not that you know everything on the subject, but that you know how to research and find out more on the subject. Being a surgeon doesnt mean you never break a bone. It means that you know how to learn how heal it when it happens. I’ve always had digestive issues and candida. But recently ive been implementing the foods recommended by Anthony william. I’ve actually never felt such a big difference. I’ve done the yeast diet in all extremes several times. It helped some, but not totally. But I immediately feel results just with celery juice in the morning. Anyway… Lol I look like I’m fucking selling shit here, so I’m done. 😂😂😂 thinking of you! Xoxo

  5. Jessica says:

    So sorry to hear you are dealing with this and I know it’s another level of stress to try to manage health issues while traveling. I haven’t personally dealt with Candida but I am very familiar with my own stress and dietary induced health issues. I would consider reading The Medical Medium and learning what the author, Anthony Williams, says about Candida. He completely shifted my perspective on different dietary approaches to healing and I believe his take on Candida is that fruit IS GOOD! Sending my healing powers your way during your travels.

  6. Nichole says:

    Candida is manageable. You need to stop ingesting antibiotics. It can be balanced. Once your stress levels even out, your diet will right itself. Just have faith in your body’s ability to heal! Best wishes!

  7. Carla says:

    Hi Nikki, sorry to hear and all too familiar. Probiotics are essential along with immunity boosting natural medicines. Do not take anymore antibiotics! Unless it’s lifesaving of course. They are the reason the good bacteria have been compromised and left your system vulnerable to candida.

    It will get better and it will pass. Positive frame of mind really does trump all. Live and don’t be afraid to eat a certain food, you’ll go crazy and the stress doesn’t help. It’s all about a healthy balance which I’m sure you know all about. Hang in there!! It will get better. Xo

  8. Nykki Hardin says:

    Hi Nikki,

    I am so sorry to hear about your struggle and hardship. Not having our health is one of the most challenging things ever. I’ve had a lot of success with my 21 cleanse program and supplements and would love to help. Send me an email and we will set up a time to connect.

  9. Fern Olivia says:

    I love you so much beautiful girl, beautiful gift to the world with your truth and honesty. You are always the real deal. Thank you for paving the way for all of us health influencers to be imperfectly perfect.

  10. Ana says:

    Nikki I’m very sorry about this, I haven’t suffered from this but I’ve heard about Candida from That Vegan Couple, the guy suffered from it for 7 years and he describes it just as you did, maybe you can look into they advises and even contact them, they have a YouTube channel, webpage and podcast. Hope it all gets better, I have been following you for years now and you have helped me with a lot, even though you don’t even know it! Wishing you luck in your trip!

  11. Earthwindfire says:

    There is a doctor in evergreen Colorado who owns Osmosis skin care. He is very educated on candida. Might want to check him out for advice. Xoxo

  12. Anthony Seed says:

    My wife has suffered with this for years. It is real and debilitating and ridiculously hard to deal with. It prompted her to become a functional health practitioner so she could fight it and help others as well. At the end of the day docs will just put you on more and more meds that will not work. There is light at the end of the tunnel but it is hard work. Reach out to her for help or support if you want.

  13. Lori says:

    I am actually going thru this same exact thing and believe it or not, just cancelled a 12 day mission trip to Africa because I was afraid of what kind of food I would have access to and how my body would handle it. I will be following your posts from Africa and sending prayers.

  14. Misha says:

    I was dealing with this on a daily basis for a year and half. I had no health insurance so I did what I could with healthy eating and natural remedies.
    It wasn’t until i went to Europe for the summer that it was gone in an instant. I still try to figure out why this change in environment had an affect on my candida that was so intense.
    Maybe this trip to Africa will change it like it did for me?
    Otherwise, maybe it isn’t food that will cure things like this, but rather eliminating something (person, place, thing, energy) that is affecting us negatively emotionally and this is our body’a response. I don’t know the answer. I do know, nothing worked for me for 1.5 years until a shift in my daily life ocurred.

  15. Jacqui says:

    Nikki – find yourself some good probiotics to help fight off the yeast and keep your vaginal PH in balance. taking probiotics has helped me a lot. I also would consider going to a holistic doctor and trying more natural supplements/treatments. Wishing you totally sucks to have your body be out of whack but just be kind to yourself and practice patientience – I’m sure you’ll find a way to achieve balance again.

  16. Michala says:

    Hi Nikki. This is my friend holistic nutritionist Marta. Try her she can heal her patients from worst diseases. She know the root of everything. She is absolutely no expensive more likely cheap compare to another holistic drs who charge people lot of money on every visit . She is indigo child living to help people …
    Her website

  17. Rhiannon says:

    Girl don’t be scared to ask for love and support… we have all gone through things that challenge us in life… try Plexus my friend battled this and it worked wonders. Sending you love and prayers!

  18. Ashley says:

    I’m sorry you are going throug this. It’s not an easy thing especially for as long as you have had it. Make sure you get tested for diabetes because that can cause excess yeast production. Take probiotics and yes the diet is annoying but starve the yeast by cutting out sugars and even fruits. I really hope it gets better for your soon!

  19. Deborah Brown says:

    Oh I am so sorry. Candida took away the body I worked so hard for. I also crashed my adrenal system. My hormones went crazy. All of this from incredible stress in my personal and professional life. If you had told me any of this was possible before it happened to me I would have never believed you. I feel robbed of everything I worked so hard for. I live for my morning weigh in to see if I kept it all in balance the day before. I have spent ten plus thousand dollars to even know what I am fighting and ended up finally getting answers from a naturopathic doctor. This is a horrible way to live when all you had to do to stop it from happening was to keep life in balance. My empathy is not helping you though. For advice, all I can give is stay away from sugar, limit carbs to a minimum, turmeric daily, gluten free, apple cider vinegar in your water, and pau d’arco tea daily. The last has been my savior. I can only find it on Amazon.
    I have followed you since before this happened to me. I am so sorry you are fighting this battle. Stay strong though, at the end of the day there are people that love you even if your body doesn’t feel as perfect as you think it should. You are beautiful inside and out. Don’t let this win.

  20. Al Perry says:

    Hi Nikki,
    You’re very brave to put this out there, and it doesn’t make you appear to be a fraud, it makes you real. We’re all in this human life experience together, and no one is exempt from having issues, so thanks ft or being authentic!

    Many clients, as well as my partner, have suffered from this. Everybody is different, so there’s no one thing that works for everyone. But there is one constant for those who have beat it.
    No sugar in my form at night. I’m pretty sure you live an active lifestyle, and we use sugar when active, but at night, not so much… That’s when the guy yeast gets fed, and gets out of balance with your friendly bacteria.
    Try it,! Just eat smart the rest of the day, not all or nothing, except at night..
    Good Luck! Have an awesome trip 🙂 -al

  21. CS says:

    Donna Gates is the maven in this field.

  22. Lucy says:

    Hello beautiful lady.

    I am so proud of you for sharing such an intimate part of you.

    I had a bad Candida trot about a year ago and the only thing that helped me (along with alkalising the shit out of my diet) was doing regular coffee enemas and apple cider vinegar enemas.

    When you get home, I highly recommend doing watching some videos on YouTube on how beneficial they are for detoxing and healing from candida.

    I promise you, they help.

    Much love and light darling

  23. Cathleen says:

    Hi, I stumbled upon your IG page because of another yoga chick.
    Read your post and I promise I have your answer! Please follow Medical Medium on IG. Anthony William has written 3 best sellers…. he has your answers. Life-Changing Foods, Medical Medium Mystery Illness and most recent Thyroid Healing. Follow his protocols
    You WILL heal
    Then spread the word of the Medical Medium. He’s a gift from above to all humans!!!
    GOD Bless xo

  24. Cathleen says:

    Medical Medium says to stay away from Dairy Eggs Corn Wheat Canola Oil “Natural Flavors” are toxins

  25. Melissa says:

    Hi Nikki, I’m an online holistic nutritionist and I could help you with this. I too struggled with candida and switched my career to become a holistic nutritionist to help others who are struggling with digestive issues. This post may becoming a bit late but thought I would reach out in case. I’ve left my website info and my email if you want to reach out.

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