It’s Time To Get Real

01 Feb 2016

I haven’t written a post like this in a while, and quite honestly- I’m scared shitless to even begin to write this. Why? Because it’s putting myself out there. It’s showing how vulnerable I am and it’s a pretty scary thing to do when so many people look up to you. Yet, I also made it a point to share my journey with you all when I started my IG account. I remember so desperately wanting to know that people like Miranda Kerr and Gisele had bad days. That they binged. I wanted to know that they felt this way and were able to get over it, so that I know I too, could do it. So, with that being said, it’s time to get real and share what’s been going on.

Recently, I’ve received some comments from people saying how my posts seem really sad on Instagram and that when I am meaning to write something positive, there is a sadness to it. I’m getting questions asking if I’m okay.

The truth is, I’m not. I’m really scared about my future and just like everyone else, I don’t always know what I’m doing. I have a book coming out in 2 months and I am crazy scared about this. It’s the biggest achievement I have to date, yet the most pressure I’ve felt. What happens if I don’t get my engagement up and people don’t buy the book? What if the media decides not to feature me? What if I don’t sell half of what I need to and my publisher realizes they fucked up giving me a contract? These are all terrifying thoughts that keep coming into my mind and they scare me. I realize that fear is a creation of the mind and that in order to get over it, one must focus on the good and everything positive in life. I feel a tad overwhelmed though and I have been letting fear get the best of me.

My life has become chaotic and through all of this, I’ve been looking to food for comfort. I’ve gone back to slight food binges and although it’s mainly healthier options, it’s still a loss of control when it comes to eating. I’m doing it because I need comfort. I need someone to just hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay. I need to cry and admit that I feel like I’m drowning. All of this has caused me to not eat as I should, which has then had the effect of not working out and gaining some weight. So the perpetual cycle continues of feeling like shit, which leads to more self doubt and more fear.

I told myself on January 1 that 2016 would be an amazing year, but the first month royally kicked my ass. I had so many meetings that sucked my energy. I didn’t make money. I questioned what I’m doing with my life. I pondered why I feel so alone. I started eating bad and feeling sorry for myself.

But today is a new day. It is February 1. I sit here on a Monday morning (it’s kind of awesome having the new month fall on a Monday honestly) and I have chosen to stop feeling sorry for myself. I have made a green smoothie for breakfast and had a bunch of water. I’m tired of feeling like shit. I’m tired of feeling like giving up. I’m just tired of not loving myself. I want to be the best example to you all as possible. I want to show that you CAN overcome falling into a black hole. I want to be a shining light that helps guide you into a better life. But I can only do that if I can do it for myself.

I’m realizing that I need to just forgive myself. Forgive myself for not feeling ‘perfect.’ I need to forgive myself for eating bad, for not working out, for gaining weight, and for allowing myself to get to this place. I need to forgive myself for feeling so down. It’s okay. It’s okay to feel lost. We all get there. Forgiveness is the first step in making a change. Nikki, I forgive you. You are loved. You are perfect just the way you are.

Today is a new day. A new beginning. Today is a good day, because I choose for it to be so. I have the power to change everything I want. Just as you do. You have the power to overcome beating yourself up, making unhealthy choices, and not working out. You have the power to make a mental change right here, right now. It’s time to get real with your own life and how you can make a change.

So I share something very personal, very scary, and very vulnerable to ultimately have you understand that you are not alone when you are feeling down. We all go through bad times in life and it’s only natural to get down on yourself and question everything. I do hope that this post makes you understand that what you see on the outside isn’t always what’s happening on an inside level. Don’t make assumptions about anyone, and always remember to ask people if they need some love, because at the end of the day, we all do really.

If this post touched you in any way or you would like to share your story with me please leave a comment below. I would love to get everyone talking and understanding each other’s stories.

Tons of love, Nikki

PS- If you are seriously feeling down and need to kick start your health routine then my brand new book is the perfect way. I’ve poured my heart and soul into this book and absolutely believe that it’s going to help you turn your life around.

58 Responses

  1. says:

    Hi Nikki, thank you much for showing your strength and being vulnerable to your followers. I’ve been following you as closely as before, only because of time but made the effort to reset my password so I could log in.
    I can completely relate to how you are feeling, to the point where reading your story gave me goose bumps. Especially when you said to forgive yourself for not feeling perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist but sometimes it’s hard to snap out of the mood and love who you are and what you’re doing.
    Thank you again for sharing. My day just started and I really more than ever! All the very best with your work to come.

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you so much for the comment lovely. I really appreciate you being a supporter and following me. I also appreciate and value that you took the time to comment. I hope that you are feeling better today. I’m here for you <3 Just know that you have my support to do great things and to love yourself. Xoxo

  2. Erin says:

    Thank you so much for this. It spoke to me and I am feeling the same. It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone. <3

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you for commenting Erin. I think that we all have many of the same feelings and I hope you know that I’m here to support you in your journey. With love, Nikki

  3. Rebekah says:

    Oh my Nikki, I have been feeling so much the same lately. This year I decided it was finally time to lose the weight that I wanted to lose and start some study. I was so optimistic at the start of the year, but 1 month in to doing all of this and I’m feeling worn out, unmotivated and a bit depressed. I know that I’ve toned but my body still looks unhealthy. I’m studying but I feel like it will take me a lifetime. And even though there are so many good things happening in my life just like in yours, I’m feeling weighed down and unhappy. So thank you so much for sharing your story <3

    • nikki sharp says:

      I totally get how when you look at the ‘long term’ it makes you think F-IT and give up, that’s why I always say try to focus on one moment a time. One day at a time. Don’t even worry about tomorrow. Don’t stress if you didn’t workout yesterday. Just try to get in 20 minutes today and eat a healthier meal option. That’s all you can do. Study because it makes you feel good. Eat well and exercise because you know you’ll feel glowing from the inside. That’s all we can do, focus on the small achievable goals! Do you do a gratitude journal? It’s helped me immensely xx

  4. rose says:

    You need to take a look at the following two instagram accounts:
    jshealth – Jessica Sepel
    lisamessenger – an amazing lady, She has written some amazing books of encouragement and life and is an amazing mentor. Look up her magazine

  5. Bec says:

    Today I woke up, committed to making a postive change in my life and my routine. As of late I’ve been in a bit of a slump because I finished uni 2 months ago and I haven’t been able to find a job and I’ve really just been floundering around. So today was the day to get back on the bike! However, the wheels fell off this bike pretty quickly because within minutes of waking up I found out something that has completely devastated me and shattered everything I thought I knew. I’ve been dealing with my pain now for a few hours, I’ve been for 2 walks this morning since I woke up to try and deal with it. And I opened your email (I’m not going to lie I usually just delete them from my inbox unless I like the subject). But this post has been exactly what I needed to get my day back on track. I need to forgive myself for being so hard on myself and everything else, and I need to forgive the person who has caused me so much pain this morning and quite honestly for the last year. I know now that I have the power to overcome this and all I need is a positive outlook and a go-get-it attitude. So thank you Nikki for sharing your story. I really appreciate it. You have given me the strength and clarity that I needed.

    • nikki sharp says:

      First off, thank you for the honesty about the emails- I would seriously love to know what sort of topics in the titles would catch your attention because it’s super important to me. I spend a lot of time putting these emails together and I want to make sure people like them/are reading them (if you email me, nikki@localhost we can chat, would love your opinion!). I’m so sorry to hear that something bad happened. I know that when really bad things happen in my life I always try to look at it like the universe has made it happen for me to learn and grow from. The universe only hands us things that it know we can handle. Forgive yourself, right now is a moment to get on with it all. Time to cheer up buttercup. xoxo

  6. pixie says:

    Hey Nikki,
    Your story really touched me because I have been going through a tuff time myself, completely different from what you have been going through but it had put a massive hole in my self judgement and respect.
    You see I feel in love with someone who didn’t love me, infact he couldn’t even be honest with me after I expressed my feelings to him, instead he cut me out of his life and I found out through IG he was dating someone (yet he told me he didn’t want to date). I’ve felt like shit ever since then trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why I kept going down these same roads of liking someone only to get hurt but I’ve figured it out I don’t love myself enough so I try to find someone who can fix that but no one other than me can do that. So I’m pulling myself together finally, I’m working hard to get my body where I want it, as well as getting back on track with my studies. My confidence took a major knock but it will be back soon enough just got to keep reminding myself that I am beautiful in every shape and size and I’m going to be more beautiful when I reach my goals.
    Keep striving forward Nikki your doing great

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi darling, thanks for commenting and sharing your story! Very brave of you. I totally understand how you must feel and just remember, he shouldn’t affect you this much. I have been ‘burned’ by many guys and I’ve let go thinking, their loss. They clearly are not the right guy for me because I DESERVE to be with someone who makes me feel amazing, not someone who keeps me guessing. My time is too precious and valuable to waste it on people who don’t lift me up. It’s a good thing he’s not in your life because he doesn’t sound like a good guy. You deserve so much more. Focus on you. Eat healthy, exercise and you will start to shine, attracting the person you want. Much love xx

      • pixie says:

        Thanks so much for your comment Nikki, I knowhe shouldn’t effect me this much but he did. And what you say is very true we all need someone who is going to lift us up, build with us and make us feel good about the life we are creating for ourselves not dragging us down, keeping us guessing, and wondering what we did wrong. I am getting more focused on me now and putting in the work to build a great future. As hard as it is to believe in my heart I know he doesn’t deserve me and I’m better off without him but it doesn’t make moving on any easier. But my time will no longer be wasted on someone who’s not willing to give me the same amount of time.
        Eating healthy and training like a beast is all I know so I will be fine ☺. Thank you for being such an honest and beautiful inspiration. Much love and hugs xx

  7. Lauren says:

    Hi Nikki,
    I just wanted to say thank you so much for this post, it’s absolutely what we need more of in a society that’s obsessed with only positive and happy news all the time. I love how you shared yourself and showed us that everyone has bad days. In fact, I felt similar to you in the beginning of January, as I’m graduating this year and I’ve been so stressed out with the future and everything. I really appreciate this post because like you said most celebrities/pop icons don’t share their experiences when it comes to their bad days, which is really sad, because I think that posts like these help more people sometimes than the super happy ones. I have to say it made my day finding this link in my email to see that everyone has bad days. 🙂 Thank you for creating an amazing 5 day detox plan by the way, I absolutely loved the variety of meals, and I also loved the 2 post detox books! One of my favourite recipes is definitely the PB Banana Ice Cream Sandwich, and that’s saying a lot because I generally don’t like peanut butter or bananas, and I don’t usually eat a lot of sweets unless it’s fruit 🙂 Thank you once again and I’m sending you lots of love 🙂 <3

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you so much Lauren. Thank you for taking the time for a wonderful long comment, and telling me about the books you’ve bought, etc. It honestly means so much to me! <3 Thats great to hear you don't eat many sweets though... good girl!!! You can teach me a trick or two hehe. Just take it all one day at a time, remember to be positive and grateful. You are in a beautiful place of graduating, congrats on such a big achievement. You will do everything you want <3

  8. Corina says:

    Nikki, you scared me beyond words! Just being perfectly healthy and staying that way is your greatest achievement! So, the rest, while haunting and challenging and frightening, is totally under control. And… one the days is does not seem so think like Scarlett O’Hara – “tomorrow is another day”!
    Heads up, Nikki, and be yourself!
    My respect, love, and admiration to you!!!

  9. Julia says:

    I totally can relate to your situation. I’m thankful for your honesty. I feel pretty lost and burned out at the moment caused of stress in the job and pressure I put on myself. I know I have to change a lot of the things which are bad for my well-being but often it’s not that easy. I know it’s a step into the right direction to already recognize this stage but a lot of steps have to follow and that scares the hell out of me!! I’m also looking for comfort in food but it doesn’t even be a comfort to me anymore cause my stomach feels terrible these days because of all the “poison” I put into my body. I really wanna eat healthy again and fuel my body with all the good stuff but I also have to make more time for myself to calm down a bit. I have to get more balanced mentally first and anything else will follow, I guess. It’s ok to struggle sometimes. I think it’s actually a strong trait to be honest to yourself and to the people around you. The vulnerability we show currently only makes us stronger in the long run! Stay strong and do not put so much pressure on yourself! In the end everything will turn out all right. Maybe even better than before. Don’t disregard what you already accomplished, Nikki!! Sending you much love 🙂

    • nikki sharp says:

      Yes, recognizing is the biggest step and then just putting things into action. It’s all about one foot in front of the other. It’s the step out of the door which is the hardest to working out, just as looking at the meal in front of you, instead of how much weight you have to lose. We are all the same in this. Day by day. You DESERVE to feel good. To love your body. To treat your body right. Seriously, you. deserve. this. <3 Thank you for the words of encouragement, hopefully i can some of that love and light back to you! x

  10. Ellie says:

    Hey Nikki,
    I am sorry to hear you have been struggling but the news I have to share with you can turn your life around.

    I struggle with fears and knowing what and when to eat. And honestly I just feel like crying in frustration some times.

    But then I remembered what my sister said, your identity is in Christ. My family and I are Christians and I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and rose again the third day. (John 3:16)

    If you believe that as well, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins then you have eternal life with Jesus immediately. 1 john 5:13. And you are seen as perfect in Christ then.

    This is what comforted me and I hope they help you as well. 🙂

  11. Stacey lily says:

    So sorry to hear that you’ve been having a tough time but it’s so nice to hear someone put into words what I go through myself! I’ve had the same sort of month purely stress from work and feeling a bit lonely. Fitness and being healthy is a big part of my life and I love it but as soon as I get stressed or lonely it seems to go out the window which only makes matters worse. It’s refreshing to know even someone like you (my body goals haha) goes through thr same things. Wish you all the best with the book, I can’t wait to get a copy xx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Stacey, thank you for commenting! isn’t it funny how something we love doing (fitness and eating well) is the first thing to go with stress… so strange! I hope that you are doing better and this post helped you to get back on track…and thank you for the comment about the book, that means SO much to me! xoxo

  12. Madi says:

    Hi Nikki,
    I’ve been following your page for a while now and just wanted to let you know what an inspiration you’ve been to me. Your positive attitude and commitment to keep moving forward no matter what life throws are you are truly admirable, as well as the fact that you’re one of the only instagram/fitness pages that is completely honest through the good and the bad. I’ve struggled with my eating and mood/depression for over a year and have just finally committed to getting myself the help I need and going to therapy, and even though it is still a struggle, I am trying to live a more consistently healthy and happy life. No one is perfect no matter how much we may try to act like we are on social media, and I love that you’re so real about this. My first month of the year was pretty shitty as well, but just like you, I’ve decided to get back on track and not give up. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Madi, thank you so much for being a follower and your kind words. It means SO much to me! i think that getting help is exactly what might help get you back on track and I’m all about therapy, haha really everyone needs it! If you are ever interested I do health coaching (on a side note, where I’m so not trying to sell anything, but just a thought if you want both the nutrition and life coaching in one package). I hope that your year is getting better darling girl. xoxo

  13. Dorcas says:

    Hello Nikki,
    I would like to thank you about your words. I literally have the impression of reading my own thoughts.
    Recently, I have had bad times, a “down”; and I thought everything was ok, but I have had a lot of cravings (and not healthy), I was feeling empty, and I was going out to parties all the time.
    I didn’t realized at the first time, and one day I was so angry with everything, I started to cry and I realized that I wasn’t happy. I was in a big “down”, for a lot of reasons.

    It was around January, the 25th, and like you, I loooove when a month starting with Monday!

    So I decided to take a fresh start. Now I’m feeling so strong, because I’m in peace with myself and I know I can’t be perfect.
    I’m ready to accept my confidence-less sometimes, and to handle with it.

    So, again, thanks for your words. Like we say in French: “Tes mots tombent à pic !” (=Your words are just in time!)

    You are a strong woman, but you are a human being. I know you it’s gonna be ok!


    (Sorry for my bad English, I’m not bilingual yet)

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi beautiful. First off your english is great! Way better than my french, hehe! Second, I’m so glad that you are on the right path of loving yourself and starting over. Each day is a new c chance to start over, so you’re doing good. Keep it up! Shine your love to others and in return you will find more happiness. Thank you so much for commenting, following, and showing support <3

  14. Tammy says:

    I’m literally in tears… You are so brave and wonderful to share something so deeply personal. The crazy thing… I feel just like you. Thank you for showing how incredibly strong and amazing you are. You are loved. You are perfect.

    • nikki sharp says:

      Awe Tammy, thank you for your comment. So beyond sweet. Isn’t it amazing how we can be in different situations and yet feel the same?! You are loved just the same <3

  15. Bonnie Payton says:

    First off Nikki, let me just say what an inspiration you are to me and so many others, who follow you. Sharing you’re vulnerability with others is so courageous and is truly a sign of strength not weakness. My New Years resolution last year was to finally quit smoking after more than 30 years. I did it!! But in the process gained 25lbs. Thanks to your positive “You can do it!” Daily posts, I was able to break a terrible cycle and I am proud to have finally achieved my goal. Now I have a new resolution for 2016. To lose these 25 lbs of course. I’m ok with it taking some time. I want to continue to make good lifestyle choices and you help me do that everyday with positive motivation. One day at a time, I am determined to meet my goal or at least be well on my way, by years end. You inspire and motivate me everyday. And for that you have my utmost gratitude and loyalty. Much love & happiness to you!!

    • nikki sharp says:

      WOW, congrats on quitting smoking darling! That is amazing. So by gaining weight it’s all about understanding the emotional triggers behind the cigarette- once you figure out that, the weight will come off because you will no longer need a ‘crutch.’ Happy to further discuss this. You can do this. Absolutely can. Just remember that it’s a matter of each day, don’t worry about the long term goals, put away the scale, just take it day by day, meal by meal. That’s all we can do. I know when I focus on my goals i get to the ‘F IT’ point, thinking I have so far to go- so just focus on RIGHT NOW. So much love to you x

  16. Grace says:

    Thank you for showing that everyone has bad times..

  17. Jane Dalea-Kahn says:

    Nikki, thank you. I sometimes feel the same way. We must practice self love no matter what. You are beautiful and so smart and enterprising! I saw you about a year ago at INN and I was so impressed. You don’t have to be super skinny to be valuable. You already are because God made you valuable. So just know you have so many people rooting for you!!!

  18. Melissa Gallarzo says:

    Hey Nikki – Thank you so much for sharing your journey, the high’s and the low’s. I really appreciate your vulnerability and passion to share your inner self with us. I absolutely admire you and love following you! You have inspired and empowered me so much in soooo many ways. A big one for me was to take action and go to IIN after I had been going back and forth on where to go to school, I graduated in May 2015! =] But I can definitely relate to a lot of what you said… There are so many days I am so overwhelmed, exhausted, scared, uncertain and doubt myself. I started a wellness program at my office in November along with so many other projects and right after I fell into a funk of binge eating and being super lazy. I’m finally coming out of it and getting back into my groove, but like you said, it’s about forgiving and loving myself. So thank you so much! Love and Light ~Melissa

    • nikki sharp says:

      Congrats on going to IIN! Way to go girl! I’m so happy to hear you are back on track and sharing your light, love and wisdom with the world. Keep it up! Big hug xox

  19. Hi Nikki, I’m reading this whilst listening to “I’m no longer a slave to fear’ by Bethel Music… I can so relate with you having had lots of fears in my life and holding me back both in living and being healthy. No need to explain you know how this works. Thanks for being real, we are human and not perfect, and we don’t need to act from our flesh. We are no longer slaves to fear, perfect love casts out all fear. Please don’t worry about your book, I believe its going to be amazing ;-), and that said what is the worst thing that can happen? Don’t allow fears keep you from living your life to the full right now! I believe in a God that is in control, who loves me unconditionally, who has my whole life in His hands and so I need to worry because it won’t add a day to my life. When I think of how much God loves me, what can I possibly be afraid of? Even though I am only human I’m wrapped in perfect love. I can find security in His love. I can find peace in His love. I can find refuge, provision and joy in His love. His love knows no limits. It has no boundaries. His love never changes. There is nothing I can do to make Him love me any more, and there is nothing I can do to make Him love you any less. I hope this helps you, Im not trying to convert you, but encourage you. Because I have let fears hold me back for the most part of my life without realizing I had all these wonderful promises in front of me. Fear made me sick and I tried so much to get better when all I needed to do was trust and let go(d). I’m 33 and finally living now. Yes, Im sometimes afraid still, not loving myself, slacking, bingeing, crying, but I can pick myself up and forgive myself because of this. Not only that I don’t need to work hard to make myself feel better, He does. I really pray this for you, that those fears will melt away and you will move confidently into the life of victory prepared for you. You are beautiful and sharing your story makes you even more gorgeous. Keep doing what you are doing, you are not in the place you are by accident. Much love, Annelies

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to write that comment darling! So beyond sweet and yes, there is definitely someone or something ‘up there’ (really, all around us!) that is guiding us all. Thank you for giving words of encouragement xox

  20. Amber says:

    HI Nikki,
    Thank you so much for your post. It really made me think!
    At this point in my life I also feel lost. I’ve been dancing ballet since I was 9 years old. I trained 5 or 6 days a week at a professional ballet school here in the Netherlands. I got my degree and went to New York when I was 18 years old. The experience of a life time! I lived in New York for two years and then came the point that I had to stop dancing, due to my injuries. I felt so lost after that and now 2 years later it is getting better. But i’m still so afraid of where my life is going and what to do with my life. I am (like you) super passionate about healthy eating and also doing a nutrition related study right now. I hope I will find my way and it is Always good to be reminded that i am not the only one who’s feeling lost at times. Thank you again for your post and i wish you all the best with the release of your book and you life! xxx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Amber, it sounds like you have had a beautiful life so far and i totally understand feeling lost- I had that when I left the modeling world and came into the health world. It’s all been scary, crazy, amazing. I would say, how can you share the art of dancing (ballet) with the world as an inspirational way to also share health… I know that there’s a bad rap for dancers and I think if you can share how to maintain a body like that, and how to GET a body like that, through health it’s a good place to start! Xoxo

  21. anna avonapets says:

    Thank you so much for being honest! As it can be seen from the comments, lots of people are experiencing the same lack of motivation at this period of time. What I have learned about myself recently is that being a perfectionist causes lots of stress. And I have noticed that this “straight after New Year period” is the toughest in terms of expectations of myself. And maybe the brain just dont like this pressure and each year tries to show that its not that needed to be perfect and instead to start finally loving and accepting myself… Knowing that now, my next winter resolution would be enjoying life and not setting too much food rules, keep eating healthy but include more healthy sweets to cheer myself up. And staying active as can be, not working out if I don’t want to, but go for a walk instead.
    Next week Monday would be a new lunar year, so its yet another chance to start everything from scratch! With more energy and more love to ourselves!
    And one other though I heard recently “It only takes a second to change”.
    We can do it!

    Hope that helps! Thanks again for your post!!!
    Lots of love!

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Anna! It’s crazy how many comments there are on the same thing, it’s really amazing to me that so many of us feel the same yet, we all feel so alone. It seems like you have it down, not to put expectation on yourself, rather walking instead of the forced ‘working out.’ Thanks for commenting! xx

  22. Amy Taylor says:

    Hi Nikki,
    You seriously aren’t alone, all the way through January I was doing so well, I am training to be a personal trainer, my studies were going well and I was getting plenty of exercise and good food. I then had the realisation that I was running out of money quickly and really getting bad credit card debit through not working. It all went downhill from there really, went back to my old habits which is eat chocolate when I’m sad. I’ve put weight on stopped exercising and feel shocking. I have a job interview tomorrow that will hopefully make things better for me but I had just got myself back in to a rubbish routine and it’s taking some getting out of. I am determined that whatever happens tomorrow, my year starts again Saturday, back to early nights and getting up at good time, back to exercising and eating clean again.
    I have so much admiration for you for sharing this it just shows that we are all human and we all have times where we need some support!
    Sending lots of love and hugs! Xxx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Amy, thanks for sharing! I hope your job interview went great and that you nailed it (I’m sure you did though!). Your new year starts now- just know I am here, supporting you to get back on your feet. You deserve to feel amazing and spread the message of health through what you’ve learned. Keep going darling! xoxo

  23. Elizabeth from Canada says:

    I receive your emails. I always read them but today this post spoke to me.
    I am in my 50s and feel as though I have lived my entire life (since the age of 14 or 15) around Mondays and the beginning of the month.
    Like you, my January was a difficult month. I thought I was exercising more – eating healthier but the scales did not relect that when I weighed myself at the end of the month.
    I try to not let the scales run my life but who am I kidding – they do.
    Thank you for your post. It is reassuring that others experience similar situations.

    • nikki sharp says:

      Oh sweetheart, Thank you for sharing a bit about yourself here. I would say, what motivates you in life? Rather than having life based around your weight, how can you spread your light onto others and make yourself happy in the process… I hope that you can get on a journey of self love and care, and figure out what’s been holding you back from getting to the weight you want. Much love x

  24. Toni in Australia says:

    Oh Nikki my heart goes out to you. You are so brave to share this with everyone and I respect your honestly and vulnerability. Your weight doesn’t define you…..we all have ups and downs from time to time. You are an inspiring and wonderful human being so keep shining your light and remember to be kind to yourself xx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Toni in Australia (i like your name you used!). You are totally right that the weight doesn’t define us, I think it’s hard when we lose control of our eating because we feel stressed out. Thank you for such a lovely message though, I appreciate it greatly <3 xx

  25. eir says:

    Dear Nikki,
    Thanks for sharing. I had the same experience early this year where I was expanding and moving my business and had so much anxiety hoping people would like it and it would be successful. Its so interesting too, the way I was eating felt so out of control although you are right I wasn’t bingeing in the way I was in the past. However it felt really hard to be mindful and to feel good after eating. I wish you all the best and I know your book will be a success.

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi sweetheart, thank you for sharing a bit of what you went through too. As you see from all the comments and my post is that we ALL get down and it’s a matter of reaching out and asking for help from others. Thank you for your support <3

  26. Jenny Niekamp says:

    I appreciate your honesty and continued drive for a healthier body, mind and spirit mentality. I love to eat healthy and exercise, but my will power and a bad knee keep me from my best. I love your emails, I get something from them every time. In fact, can you repost the interval circuit workout that I thought I saw on Wednesday this week? I seem to have lost it! Thank you for being a REAL LIFE person and inspiration!!

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Jenny, Thanks for commenting. Where did you see the training? FB? or through email? I send out so much content that I forget where I post things hehe. I’m so glad you enjoy following me though. It means THE WORLD to me, honestly. <3 xx

  27. Tina says:

    Hi Nikki, this really hit home. I have been going through trying to figure out my relationship and where it’s going as well as my career and where I want to be in life. I feel like I’ve lost love for myself and stress has caused me to lose weight but now I can’t get myself back on that wagon. I know it happens but trying to find self love again and believing in yourself, just sitting in on the ride and seeing where it takes you is the hardest. Without having to over think every single stop on the way. Or listening to every comment or advice friends and family say that can really cloud judgment as much as they love you.
    Thank you for sharing, knowing that everyone has their own journey is super comforting. 🙂 x

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Tina,I hope that you are finding your way a little bit more after reading my post. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. I completely empathize with you- we all get there, wondering who we are, what we are doing and what our value is to the world. Just know that I don’t know you personally but totally believe in you to get yourself out of the funk. You deserve to feel good. (On a side note, you should join me doing the detox this week as it helps to clear your mind and get you over cravings immediately… something I needed to do badly and get rid of the dang cravings!) xoxox

  28. Haya says:

    Hi Nikki,
    I really want to thank YOU for being real and who you are, because many hide their feelings and their thoughts to have the perfect image for everybody around..
    Everything you said I can defiantly relate to my everyday struggle, but always be hopeful and never expect anything from anyone or anything let life take you by surprise you won’t ever be disappointed, I respect you so much and a big fan of yours all the way from Jordan, Middle East!! You’re lovely and beautiful inside and outside and I wish you nothing but best wishes and endless love! Thousands and thousands are with you, including me to give you all the love and support you need xxx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hello Haya! I’m so grateful for you and your comment. I love that you live in Jordan and follow me from there, I so appreciate it! You are so kind and I hope that I can inspire you to get through the tough times and to love to good ones! You are so sweet.Tons of love, Nikki xx

  29. Sarah says:

    Did you mean to write 2018 instead? I feel like you’ve done a similar post like this before…maybe from 2016? Unfortunately it seems you still have a hard time being real and relatable. I thought I’d be getting something really juicy from this…something deeper. But it’s still just the same style with you. You are such a cool person but you don’t seem authentic somehow…what do YOU do? What is your job? Are you dating anyone? Do you have a relationship? Family? Can you share more photos of yourself during your eating disorder? Or talk more about that? Could you do a colab with Britt Karolina…from the bachelor who talks about these issues too? You still seem out of reach somehow and it’s obvious it’s hard for you to open up and be vulnerable. What else do you need to say and do in order to be truly authentic? I have followed you for 4 years…I think your detox is amazing and you’re extremely smart. Yet something is always missing and I don’t know why or what that is. ?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


As Seen In